South America, Day 5: Cusco, Peru Sexy Woman, Part 1

South America, Day 5:
Cusco, Peru—“Sexy Woman,” Part 1
by Oliver Butterick

Our first night in Cusco, I barely slept a wink. My bed and pillow were terribly uncomfortable and I kept alternating between being too hot and too cold. Needless to say, I felt horrible the next morning.

After purchasing our train tickets to Aguas Calientes (the town nearest to Machu Picchu), we decided to spend the morning visiting the Incan ruins that overlook Cusco. There were four different sites that we visited, and they got progressively better. The first two sites were fairly small, the first of which was almost entirely roped off so that you couldn’t see much of it up close.

When we reached the third site, Quenko, we decided to pay for a guide, and it was worth it. Quenko is an ancient Incan ruin that has great astrological significance. During the Winter Solstice, there are a few shadows that are formed in the morning, and only for 15-30 minutes. There are also several shapes that can bee seen in the rocks, such as a llama and a puma. We also learned of the significance of the “three worlds”: the upper world is represented by the condor, the lower world is represented by the snake, and this world is represented by the puma.

The last of the four ruin sites was called “Sacsay Huaman” (pronounced “Sexy Woman”), which means “satisfied falcon.” By far the most impressive of the four sites, it was good that we again chose to hire a guide. We split the cost of the guide with two women who were traveling from the UK. I almost lost my composure shortly after the tour began when our guide proclaimed, “You are now inside Sexy Woman!” I thought, “Sweet! At least now I can make it sound like I was successful with the ladies down here!”

Sacsay Huaman was an important religious and military base for the Incas. Ultimately, however, they were unable to hold the fort from the invading Spanish army, who took control of it and nearly destroyed it. The Spanish disassembled some of the base, using the smaller stones to construct houses for themselves.

Sacsay Huaman was impressive mostly due to its sheer size. I would call it “Big and Beautiful.” One interesting feature was a rock that had become smoothed, so that it looked like some sort of prehistoric slide. At the urging of our guide, Tesh and I climbed up the rock and slid down, as if we were back in grade school.

We finished touring the ruins around 3pm and decided to head over to the “San Blas” neighborhood to check out Macondo, a restaurant owned by the same person who owns Fallen Angel, which is allegedly the swankiest discoteca in Cusco. It was at this restaurant that we ran into the guy who switched seats with Tesh on the plane. We were seated and I ordered Alpaca Mignon, aka llama steak. I figured that I needed to try some authentic Peruvian dishes. The alpaca was OK—I guess it tastes like chicken. Well, actually it tasted like beef except it was a bit gamey. It was pretty good, but I don’t need to order it again.

We then headed back to the hostel and had our daily “chill” time, which I usually spent writing in my journal before taking a short nap. Around 8:40, I jumped in the shower and woke the guys up at 9:00. I could tell that Rocky didn’t really feel like going out, but he appeased me and got ready nonetheless.

We walked around, looking for a restaurant, when we found one that was still seating customers at 10:00pm and had a dinner special for 15 Soles (around US$5). The dinner was pretty good and afterward, we walked to Mythology, a discoteca. Earlier, when we had met a promoter for the club, he told us that there were “no police in the club” and that we could get whatever we wanted. Later on, we learned that this ranged from drugs and women to guns and passports. It sounded like an interesting place so we decided to check it out. When we arrived, we were escorted upstairs and served our free pisco sours, which we declined to drink because of the ice (we have to follow the rules SOME of the time!) and, since the place was a little sketchy, because we didn’t want to drink anything that we didn’t actually see being prepared. Instead, we ordered some beers and found a table with a good view of the dance floor.

We chilled for a little while and watched one guy who was dancing like a freak with half a dozen random women. He was such a total clown that it wasn’t even funny. I was embarrassed for him.

People flowed in and out of the club, but it didn’t really seem to be filling up and it became abundantly clear that Rocky wanted to leave. We were discussing whether or not to leave when a group of girls come in and took a table across the room. I tried to spice up the evening by daring Rocky to go over and work his mojo with the ladies. Much to my surprise, he actually stood up an walked over to their table. But at the last moment, he turned past their table and headed downstairs to the bathroom. He wussed out! I was so disappointed in him. Then again, being the shy guy that I am, I wasn’t even considering going over there myself.

Tesh and I continued drinking and a few minutes later, we saw Rocky emerge from the stairwell...but he isn’t alone! He was talking to one of the girls from the other table, and then she introduced him to the rest of her friends. Shortly thereafter, he returned to tell us that we’ve all been invited to join them at their table. Jackpot! I knew that I could count on Rocky—I never doubted him for a moment! The night has started anew!

Oliver can be reached at oliver@babblog.com.